When I was a young girl, I always thought my parents were perfect as do most children. Parents to children are like God. Only we don’t know their stories or their life. We just know Mommy and Daddy. I grew up in Gary, Indiana, but I wasn’t allowed to do the things the other kids did like go down the street or to a friend’s house. I went to private schools ever since I was capable of going to school. I was raised as God’s child. I knew nothing about the streets, because my mother did not want my brother or me to know.
In 2003, my parents separated, and that was the beginning of the great change of my life. When they were having their issues, it gave my brother and me the opportunity to explore and begin to experience. We were able to leave the block and do the things that we were never able to do because our parents didn’t really pay us much attention at this point in their life. As crazy as it may seem, we enjoyed it. We liked it better that way because we were able to live our lives how we wanted to. Shortly thereafter, my father moved out, and my brother move with him. I wanted to go more than anything, but I stayed because I didn’t want my mother to be by herself.
After a short period of time, my mother and I fought ridiculously. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I moved in with my father. My father and I never fought or had differences. He was my best friend; he always understood me. Living with him was an open door to exploration and opportunity. My brother and I began to explore and do all the things we never knew about. From the end of 2003 to the beginning of 2005, I got into a lot of trouble. I was hardly ever home; I had no curfew. I began drinking, partying, and doing drugs, as did my brother too. I was able to do all of those things living with my father as long as I stayed in school and got good grades, and so I did.
In May 2005, I met a guy that went by the name of D. At first, I did not like D, nor did he like me. He was friends with my brother, and began frequently staying the night at our house. At this point I had been sleeping in the basement, and he started coming in the basement to sleep also; only we didn’t sleep. By summer time, we were up every night talking about everything in the world any individual could imagine. We got very close, and one thing led to the next. We started a relationship. He moved to Chicago in August, but we still stayed together. By this time, I had stopped doing drugs and partying because I had an incident, and I almost died. Come September, the beginning of my freshman year, I found out I was pregnant.
Neither of us knew how to react, but we were excited. Then, a few weeks later, I found out he was cheating on me. We ended up back together, but things weren’t the same because I couldn’t bring myself to completely forgive and open the door to the opportunity to be in love again. So, from there, things went down hill for us. We tried to make it work, but it just didn’t. I dropped out of school in October because of morning sickness and went to move with him. By December, I was living at home again with my father. Our relationship continued on and off until shortly after the baby was born in March 2006; then, we completely ended things. We hardly talked after he was born. He didn’t do anything to help me or the baby.
It seemed as if every six months or so he wanted to be a dad and be with me again, and we lasted about a week and broke up again. Finally in April 2007, we stopped talking completely. It didn’t bother me, though; I liked being a single mother rather than dealing with the drama. My little boy made me strong; he was and is still my motivation to do and to be so much more. He stopped me from going back to the girl I was, and helped me and pushed me to grow into the young woman I am.
I may only be nineteen, and I have a three and a half year old son. I was young, and I still am. But I am finally grown; I found the woman in me a long time ago all because of my baby boy. Although he may drive me crazy sometimes, he is the one that saved my life. I learned from many of my mistakes in the past, and my son kept me from relapsing back to my old habits and lifestyle. He changed my life for so much better and so much more to come.
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